Reflectionsss.1

Let it flow: here i go:
Value:
What makes something of value? I am sitting out here doing a garage sale. i don't know why. it just came over me that we have way too much junk in the house. so, i brought it all outside and pinned a sign to a tree. i could feel like a little 5 year old trying to sell her painted rocks again, all to hear from the neighboor next door, "no one is going to buy these." great- i thought. it burst my bubble and i changed jobs at the age of five. now, here i am trying to sell all this junk. i hate retail, and even here in my home i don'tknow what to do! What is worthy to get rid of? My thinking is this: if someone else would want it, why wouldn't i? if it is of value, then why don't i keep it? like the people in india and mexico, they are resourceful and make value of anything. even trash. the get and resell it for money and stuff. what simple and nomadic mindset is this of?there are like stuffed animals out here and shoes, lots of shoes of all us girls. A little tv and barbies of some sort.
The reason why we get rid of this is becuase it cramps our style, time, and space. These things must be of value. Style, Time, Space. Money? Love? isn't that what the world spins on? things are either of money or love, i have figured, and based according to the scripture in matthew chapter 6 on money and love. so, i was thinking maybe these things are what makes up love and value. because money is valuable and love is valuable, right? and experiences and situations, to be able to create valuable experiences, that is really what we are all after: history. to make histroy, great history, memorable history with our fingerprint and name in it. and money and love and time and space and style are all things that help us do this. the better we have of it, the more of an impact we can have on the world around us. i guess, i think. i don't know, i could be wrong, but it seems to make sense.

So, when you move, you can either take everything, or in my mother and grandmas case, you can get rid of it all and start over, buy new stuff. that would not be possible for some people, right? man, just after seeing the world and the different people in it, it shakes my own and causes me to question my way of life. But let my way be God's way and the Way of Jesus Christ. and how did he live? he didn't even have a house, a home! no family. but he had friends, close close ones. but i'm not the christ, right? i can't go die on a cross, i can't live life exactly like him. where is my metaphor and application? what can i do with my life, the things i have, and what silly decisions do i and my mother make in getting rid of things, and not understanding value? it is the value of love, right? and experience? ahh, it is maddening when your world is rocked and you don't know from right and wrong. this seems to happen to me like all the time. What is right? what is wrong? what is "good?" What is "bad?" These things i don't know and have lost touch of, definitions have changed and i don't seem to know the colors and separations of life anymore. wow. change your lens perscription and you can't really see the same anymore. But, one thing i do know is thtat love is good, and people are in my life, and that i must treat these people with love. and what is best for everyone. this must be of value. yay.

bubble:
i was at the airport and noticed this: Everywhere i look, eternity narrows to a point. all around, forward, and backward. if i stand in one place, and turn in circles, each direction and angle i look, everything goes into a point. That must mean, that i am in the center of my world. everything i know is circuling around me, coming in and out of my world. through one point or another, wherever i am looking. It is like one of those lenses: where no matter where you move it, everything gets bigger in the center. That is me, that is my world. That is where i am at, everything that enters my world gets bigger at my center. the people around me, even the air i breate, becomes more to me the closer it gets to me. That means I have a circle, a bubble around me. and there comes a point where some things are not in my range, i think (maybe not, though). But when something is in my bubble, that means it is apart of my world. affecting me, and me it (?). at least that means it has great potential to. this is all about PROXIMITY, i figure.oh, and everyone has a bubble, has one of these, and when they collide, they intersect. it is like a big o map of bubbles and stuff. like cells, making up organs, making systems and bodies. we are just like that, too. making countries and nations. Lord, help us to be healthy cells. and deliver us from cancer. amen.

The simple things of life:
sweeping and brooms, laundry and cooking: all low. in india these things are so different, and we don't think of squatting while sweeping with a broom with no stick waddling like a duck, sweeping the dirt outside. We stand, nice and tall with good form using a long enough stick. We don't think of squatting to peel potatoes, or place them in a basket in the corner of the kitchen on the floor, right next to the onions. and then sit there and peel them. We don't think of using animal poop for fuel for our fire to cook in our clay oven outside. We don't think of beating our clothes against a rock to loosen the dirt out of them, and then wash them with the same water we bathed in. We don't think of keeping the water that flows by the faucet and down into the drain. We don't think it is useful anymore. We don't think of keeping it in a little bucket to wash our dishes in. and then to water the plants. Oh, the circles of life that we don't understand, see, use, or make. Villlagers, and people that do without our things know these things. They live outside with the flies and mosquitos, they are thankful for the geckos and frogs that eat the mosquitos by night. What do we know? What are we thankful for? What is life all about? and what don't we think of? What are we bored with and mundaned by? My theory: Ameicans are becoming robots. amen. (by the way, i am not saying this is a bad thing by any means, it is just and observation, who knows that new era that we are coming into, with the whites (the whole rest of the world would die to be white.) the first to invite and bring it. mechanical we are, and will become, operating on systems and what not. This i believe and expect to see it happen. is it not already? i think so. with this, we loose an understanding of the old and natural world. we enter into a new one. the old has gone, and the new is come.)This also leads me to the thought that each persons world is different. You know, some villagers don't know that computers exist and all the things that come with it. How amazed they would be to find out about it and the endless knowledgeable internet. And us? What don't i/we know exists, maybe in another world, another circle people live completely differently with different things, and how amazed would i be to find these things? I am sure that the government officials live in these sort of new technologies and such: things i would never have dreamt of, but there they are, in full use and function, kind of like things you see in the movies. you see only in the movies. you see other worlds and circles only in the movies until you actually travel there and your bubble becomes part of another world. until you fly across the sky and land in a whole new world. and then the center of your bubble is rocked...