Here is a vid of our new apt the before we moved into it.
Another coming soon of after we have furnished it...
September 5, 2009
September 3, 2009
corner bakery AM
wow. two months exactly since I have blogged on here. interesting.
Since then, I have moved into an apt with claire, I hope to post a blournal about it soon. And, I am working. I am hoping to get this job that I have temporarily right now into a ft position... we'll see.
Since then, I have moved into an apt with claire, I hope to post a blournal about it soon. And, I am working. I am hoping to get this job that I have temporarily right now into a ft position... we'll see.
July 4, 2009
Today is the 4th
I luv the 4th of July. It is a refreshing time in the middle of Texas summers, which can be hot, dry, and boring -especially for students who are not in school. The 4th brings people together, shopping for food, cooking on grills and of course, lights in the night sky. Not to mention, the reminder of the freedom we have in our country, which I think many of us take for granted. However, all of this would be awesome if you had people to do it with -haha... okay, so my fourth is spent cleaning, rearranging, organizing -which I luv to do anyway.
However, the fourth also means my birthday -yayy It is just around the corner. When the fourth is here, it reminds me that I have already been through another year in my life. It is kind of like when on New Year's, everybody considers their life and what they want out of it. Well, on July 6th, I do the same and set a new goal or theme for the next year and decide what I want out of it. The past few have not been too enjoyable -discovering life's purpose hurts! :P
When I turned 21, I was in Spain, and I could feel the change. The day I turned 21 it was like I was a different person and began to do different things -which was not such a bad thing. I needed the change. and still do! ha Three days later I returned home with a spinning head and literally sick.
at 22, the same thing. I was in India. Shimla, to be exact. The ancient capital of India where the day before my birthday my friends and I were walking down the path along the shops near the church and a man with an umbrella, on his way home after work stopped us with some chit chat about being Americans -not such a strange thing being some of the only white people in the country. However, he told us more than information about travel. He was a shaman-type person that prophesied a bit to us -which i really enjoyed -but at the time was closed towards him and short in my words and social skills -not very friendly, but I was intrigued -really. And thankful for it. I needed a breakthrough, an intervention, for my patience and peace were thin, and still are. He could see it, and told me so. I still really appreciate what he had to say to me.
He told me that for one year I have had troubles, (yes this was true, since Spain), and that a certain person had been bothering me and giving me troubles. This was also very true. But buried. I did not expect him to say anything about that -for I myself did not know! He said he could picture the guy. I think he tried to help me by giving me a few pointers. wow- this really blew me away a bit.
He also told me I needed to drink more water. Which was oh so true. I had changed my diet. When my desires and interests changed, so did my diet and nutrition. I began to do the opposite of what I knew to be best, and he could tell. Since then, I am just now (a year later) beginning to be comfortable again with true health. lol
So, the past two years have been rough and hard for me. Challenging life and beliefs, hopefully this year will be better -but I don't think it will be, not by my will, but by what my life needs.
Part of my heart and life-ache is learning how to be me -by myself- yes, this is surely the years of lonesomeness -not just for me, but any 20-something year old who does not have a family yet. Responsibility + Independence = something that I don't think I like (right now). It is uncomfortable for me right now, because it is new. Where is the dependence? No one is very dependent on me, and I on almost no one. Is that not a dangerous place to be in? Of course not, it might actually be the best place to be in -so much can and will come out of it -yay But I have not reached that quite yet. I know now that I need to learn how to be happy in whatever state I am in. So, basically, I need to learn how to live in my new life at age 23. lol
And, honestly, I don't feel that it will come until a few more years -until I have more maturity -and knowledge. I will gain this in the next two years -this I know. :)
Age 25 and beyond will be a much better time for me. But right now, is yuck. :) "I smile even though it hurts sometimes -because I know it is good for me." hehe
This is definitely a depression, but it is not always bad. I am being lifted up higher and higher each time.
Learning the ropes as I climb.
It is rough and I cry -the splinters in my hands are often like pines
They make me weary and weak
and at times I am knocked off my feet.
I get sick often, too
for my body is growing, changing, with each step becoming new
I keep going and climbing in silence a lot
no matter how hard it is, not many see me at all.
Like a cocoon, is my home right now
-just like a friend said, one day I will be full grown
like a butterfly to spread her wings
beautiful and wide, I will be set free
I will fly and know how, in all confidence and knowledge
wisdom will be my friend, whom I stand on
This is not now, for my shell is only small, hard and brown
but do not be fooled that
she will one day spread her wings and fly on top of buildings and see and do great things
This is part of my joy, to see what is to come. Without my joy I am undone.
But as I learn what is great and true, I cling to it as I become new.
yay for being age 23.
However, the fourth also means my birthday -yayy It is just around the corner. When the fourth is here, it reminds me that I have already been through another year in my life. It is kind of like when on New Year's, everybody considers their life and what they want out of it. Well, on July 6th, I do the same and set a new goal or theme for the next year and decide what I want out of it. The past few have not been too enjoyable -discovering life's purpose hurts! :P
When I turned 21, I was in Spain, and I could feel the change. The day I turned 21 it was like I was a different person and began to do different things -which was not such a bad thing. I needed the change. and still do! ha Three days later I returned home with a spinning head and literally sick.
at 22, the same thing. I was in India. Shimla, to be exact. The ancient capital of India where the day before my birthday my friends and I were walking down the path along the shops near the church and a man with an umbrella, on his way home after work stopped us with some chit chat about being Americans -not such a strange thing being some of the only white people in the country. However, he told us more than information about travel. He was a shaman-type person that prophesied a bit to us -which i really enjoyed -but at the time was closed towards him and short in my words and social skills -not very friendly, but I was intrigued -really. And thankful for it. I needed a breakthrough, an intervention, for my patience and peace were thin, and still are. He could see it, and told me so. I still really appreciate what he had to say to me.
He told me that for one year I have had troubles, (yes this was true, since Spain), and that a certain person had been bothering me and giving me troubles. This was also very true. But buried. I did not expect him to say anything about that -for I myself did not know! He said he could picture the guy. I think he tried to help me by giving me a few pointers. wow- this really blew me away a bit.
He also told me I needed to drink more water. Which was oh so true. I had changed my diet. When my desires and interests changed, so did my diet and nutrition. I began to do the opposite of what I knew to be best, and he could tell. Since then, I am just now (a year later) beginning to be comfortable again with true health. lol
So, the past two years have been rough and hard for me. Challenging life and beliefs, hopefully this year will be better -but I don't think it will be, not by my will, but by what my life needs.
Part of my heart and life-ache is learning how to be me -by myself- yes, this is surely the years of lonesomeness -not just for me, but any 20-something year old who does not have a family yet. Responsibility + Independence = something that I don't think I like (right now). It is uncomfortable for me right now, because it is new. Where is the dependence? No one is very dependent on me, and I on almost no one. Is that not a dangerous place to be in? Of course not, it might actually be the best place to be in -so much can and will come out of it -yay But I have not reached that quite yet. I know now that I need to learn how to be happy in whatever state I am in. So, basically, I need to learn how to live in my new life at age 23. lol
And, honestly, I don't feel that it will come until a few more years -until I have more maturity -and knowledge. I will gain this in the next two years -this I know. :)
Age 25 and beyond will be a much better time for me. But right now, is yuck. :) "I smile even though it hurts sometimes -because I know it is good for me." hehe
This is definitely a depression, but it is not always bad. I am being lifted up higher and higher each time.
Learning the ropes as I climb.
It is rough and I cry -the splinters in my hands are often like pines
They make me weary and weak
and at times I am knocked off my feet.
I get sick often, too
for my body is growing, changing, with each step becoming new
I keep going and climbing in silence a lot
no matter how hard it is, not many see me at all.
Like a cocoon, is my home right now
-just like a friend said, one day I will be full grown
like a butterfly to spread her wings
beautiful and wide, I will be set free
I will fly and know how, in all confidence and knowledge
wisdom will be my friend, whom I stand on
This is not now, for my shell is only small, hard and brown
but do not be fooled that
she will one day spread her wings and fly on top of buildings and see and do great things
This is part of my joy, to see what is to come. Without my joy I am undone.
But as I learn what is great and true, I cling to it as I become new.
yay for being age 23.
June 22, 2009
I went to the eye doctor...
I went to the eye doctor...
and had to wear two pairs of sunglasses home haha!
They dilated my eyes (and even now they are still dilated. I am surprised I can see to type -so if they're mistakes, well, you know why...)
It was just a check-up because I haven't been to the eye doctor in years. And they sent me home with no prescriptions, again!
On the way home, driving and could barely see, I was thinking about such a way of life, and the BLIND. And about seeing physically, and then nonphysically, with the mind, heart, and spirit... (funny how I am listening to a sermon from Benny Hinn on dreams, visions, and plans... hm...) and yes, that is seeing in the spirit.
That is surely faith. Believing without seeing and calling things in the spiritual realm into the physical world. When you can see something in the future (prophecy) and hold onto until it comes into the physical world, you can do great things though these "eyes".
John 9:39
Jesus said, "For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."
John 11:9
Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world's light.
and Hebrews 11:1
Faith is believing without seeing.
cooooooool!
Being physically blind strengthens your other senses.
and had to wear two pairs of sunglasses home haha!
They dilated my eyes (and even now they are still dilated. I am surprised I can see to type -so if they're mistakes, well, you know why...)
It was just a check-up because I haven't been to the eye doctor in years. And they sent me home with no prescriptions, again!
On the way home, driving and could barely see, I was thinking about such a way of life, and the BLIND. And about seeing physically, and then nonphysically, with the mind, heart, and spirit... (funny how I am listening to a sermon from Benny Hinn on dreams, visions, and plans... hm...) and yes, that is seeing in the spirit.
That is surely faith. Believing without seeing and calling things in the spiritual realm into the physical world. When you can see something in the future (prophecy) and hold onto until it comes into the physical world, you can do great things though these "eyes".
John 9:39
Jesus said, "For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."
John 11:9
Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours of daylight? A man who walks by day will not stumble, for he sees by this world's light.
and Hebrews 11:1
Faith is believing without seeing.
cooooooool!
Being physically blind strengthens your other senses.
June 9, 2009
May 17, 2009
I remember the day I graduated...
I was sitting in the auditorium with hundreds of chairs in rows all around me. The big stage, empty. I was there early with my black cap and gown zipped up. I was wearing my favorite black heels with the strap over the ankle. I was glowing, at least felt like it. I don't think I really knew what it all meant, but I knew it was a special day. Gma had come into to town and we all got a hotel room close to the school that we all stayed in. I got up early, the first one, and left long before everyone else. I was responsible for getting there on time and making sure that I graduated that day.I was happy, excited, and loved it to be my day. It was early morning, the sun was very hot. All my colleagues and friends were there with their families and cameras. I am glad mine were there, too. I remember walking across the stage, seeing Blair, taking a breath and letting the air fly through my newly cut short hair. I smiled and walked confidently. A new me! -kinda.
I remember taking pictures with everyone afterward and seeing my friends.
I had plans to go to India for the summer, and i did.
Over and done now, a year later, I am still on my journey in Life, will be for a while...
I am surprisingly still in Dallas. I think it is best, though.
Class of 2008, DBU, Communications Print/Graphics BA.
I have a degree! and took many classes and am qualified now.
Keep going, though, learning never stops.
I remember taking pictures with everyone afterward and seeing my friends.
I had plans to go to India for the summer, and i did.
Over and done now, a year later, I am still on my journey in Life, will be for a while...
I am surprisingly still in Dallas. I think it is best, though.
Class of 2008, DBU, Communications Print/Graphics BA.
I have a degree! and took many classes and am qualified now.
Keep going, though, learning never stops.
here we go...
Pain emerges from the dark
comes to find a place to park in my heart.
I let it out, it feels good.
i must let it move through
in must go out, i command it to.
no one knew, no one to tell it to
not even i am aware
how or why or who
i just let it happen
like it is suppose to.
let it be good,
let it be true
to find a place of woo hoo
comes to find a place to park in my heart.
I let it out, it feels good.
i must let it move through
in must go out, i command it to.
no one knew, no one to tell it to
not even i am aware
how or why or who
i just let it happen
like it is suppose to.
let it be good,
let it be true
to find a place of woo hoo
May 16, 2009
Time flys.
and i'm not really having fun... ??
It has been one year today that I graduated from college.
and what have I done?
Gone through a whirlwind so it seems.
"What are your goals in life right now?" someone asked me recently. "uh... idk," i said. still stunned, i really don't know where I am going. On the outside, i could be labeled as a loser, but I know there is no such thing.
I know jewels are buried inside of me right now.
I see them as covered up by "life" -things in life I have going on.
Maybe I feel a bit stuck, well actually i finally feel like i am where i am supposed to be, which is a good thing, but now getting through to the next place is where i am at.
1) i don't know where that is
and 2) i barely even know what is going on here! mainly, i don't know what the next big move in my life is going to be. and maybe i don't need to know. which is fine. but i need to find how to be happy where i am again. to brush off habits i have picked up along the way, but find my confidence and ground again in who I am. It is like I have lost some of that part of me. and maybe to gain a different one back, idk.
It is like I am building a new building -or being remodeled. and it looks kinda ugly right now (to me).
but day by day
i walk away
knowing i am okay
or at least will be one day.
i haven't rhymed in a while.
no tunes to carry out
my heart hasn't sang in a while
it feels good when it does.
hang on, you'll get through, dear.
I smile because it feels good.
:)
but there are still tears
It has been one year today that I graduated from college.
and what have I done?
Gone through a whirlwind so it seems.
"What are your goals in life right now?" someone asked me recently. "uh... idk," i said. still stunned, i really don't know where I am going. On the outside, i could be labeled as a loser, but I know there is no such thing.
I know jewels are buried inside of me right now.
I see them as covered up by "life" -things in life I have going on.
Maybe I feel a bit stuck, well actually i finally feel like i am where i am supposed to be, which is a good thing, but now getting through to the next place is where i am at.
1) i don't know where that is
and 2) i barely even know what is going on here! mainly, i don't know what the next big move in my life is going to be. and maybe i don't need to know. which is fine. but i need to find how to be happy where i am again. to brush off habits i have picked up along the way, but find my confidence and ground again in who I am. It is like I have lost some of that part of me. and maybe to gain a different one back, idk.
It is like I am building a new building -or being remodeled. and it looks kinda ugly right now (to me).
but day by day
i walk away
knowing i am okay
or at least will be one day.
i haven't rhymed in a while.
no tunes to carry out
my heart hasn't sang in a while
it feels good when it does.
hang on, you'll get through, dear.
I smile because it feels good.
:)
but there are still tears
April 27, 2009
April 14, 2009
Up Bright and Early
Up at 4:30am? Yep, I am. and I enjoy it! The morning is a joy. This would have been almost impossible one year ago. College study and social activity is no friend to an early riser...
Now that some state of consistency and normalcy (for me) is back in my life, I feel happier, healthier and able. :)
Now that some state of consistency and normalcy (for me) is back in my life, I feel happier, healthier and able. :)
April 10, 2009
March 2, 2009
Thankful for
Thankful for my eyes, that i can see.
my ears, i can hear.
nose, mouth, tongue, and lips. cheeks, elbow, you know, every part of my body works. and i am thankful for that.
my ears, i can hear.
nose, mouth, tongue, and lips. cheeks, elbow, you know, every part of my body works. and i am thankful for that.
February 18, 2009
Sore.
I woke up with sore legs this morning. Want a workout? Try walking in 3in. heels all day :)
I did.
And it was well worth it.
1. it was cute.
2. I got an Awesome leg workout! -I could even feel it all the way up to my abs. supergood.
I sure did breathe a little harder down the halls, but i love a good workout.
timely. multitaskive and healthy. yum. :)
haha! and even one of the ladies liked my skirt so much she took a picture! :o! wow...
she enjoyed it, so i let her. :)
work is so swell.
i was telling my mom, and fam that it is quite amazing for me becuase it is like i am completely accepted for who I am. no matter what. i love it. and i think we all need that.
i can BE MY BEST and it is OKAY. that is what i need.
encouraged not only to go my limit, but grow past my limits. i need this.
not encouraged to lessen or back down. not looked upon as if something is wrong with me because i am being my best -that is such a confusing feeling.
and also, now i know i am where HE has chosen me to be. not someone, but Him. SUCH satisfaction comes with that -oh, to rest in His will!!! He brings Joy, and Peace, encouragement, and FREEEDOM!! :) -never loose sight of what HE has made you to be. because that is all that can matter. because that is all that will last in the end. amen. blessed be your day. :)
I did.
And it was well worth it.
1. it was cute.
2. I got an Awesome leg workout! -I could even feel it all the way up to my abs. supergood.
I sure did breathe a little harder down the halls, but i love a good workout.
timely. multitaskive and healthy. yum. :)
haha! and even one of the ladies liked my skirt so much she took a picture! :o! wow...
she enjoyed it, so i let her. :)
work is so swell.
i was telling my mom, and fam that it is quite amazing for me becuase it is like i am completely accepted for who I am. no matter what. i love it. and i think we all need that.
i can BE MY BEST and it is OKAY. that is what i need.
encouraged not only to go my limit, but grow past my limits. i need this.
not encouraged to lessen or back down. not looked upon as if something is wrong with me because i am being my best -that is such a confusing feeling.
and also, now i know i am where HE has chosen me to be. not someone, but Him. SUCH satisfaction comes with that -oh, to rest in His will!!! He brings Joy, and Peace, encouragement, and FREEEDOM!! :) -never loose sight of what HE has made you to be. because that is all that can matter. because that is all that will last in the end. amen. blessed be your day. :)
February 11, 2009
His word.
His word -
is like alive
it is sharper than any double edged sword
will/can talk to you.
if you just listen to it.
if you just read it
some parts will jump out at you
grab you
hold you
talk to you
direct you
tell you what you need to hear.
His word
is perfect
is true.
Just listen.
and Be filled
with
His Word.
Amen.
is like alive
it is sharper than any double edged sword
will/can talk to you.
if you just listen to it.
if you just read it
some parts will jump out at you
grab you
hold you
talk to you
direct you
tell you what you need to hear.
His word
is perfect
is true.
Just listen.
and Be filled
with
His Word.
Amen.
January 29, 2009
NeighBORROW :)
Check it out!
I don't know if you have heard of it, but I saw it featured on a news report. I think it is a great idea! trading items, not money! :)
www.neighborrow.com
ABOUT
neighBORROW-ing is good for your eco! money and the environment by or things you need. things easily, and lend them out to people in your networks. people in your community or keep transactions completely anonymous. No shipping, no waiting when you get things locally, from existing networks on your CAMPUS, at your COMPANY, in your COMMUNITY.
Join Neighborrow
or visit
www.neighborrow.com for some more info!
Alternative ways provide for alternative security.
January 28, 2009
I saw the evaporation.
I was sitting, reading a book, on the couch. I was sitting in front of the drawn curtain window. Sun hitting me, hitting my book. As I read the words on the page, my eyes kept "floating" upward with the shadows of the evaporation of the ice. I could see them on my page in front of me. Then, I would quickly look out the window to see if I could "catch it" with my eye outside. All I could see was the cloud of steam hovering over the roof across the street.
Where was it coming from? and how/why could I see it through the heat of the sun on my page? It was nice, neat. Made me feel special, that I got an "insight" into how nature works. I could see it before my eyes. 8-)
I just enjoyed the ambiance, as I turned page after page...
It reminded me of a time when I was sitting at the dining room table made of glass. I was looking down into the glass, and it was there, that my eye was trained to see beyond what was in front of me: I could see into the clouds. I was looking down into the glass. It was reflecting the sky from above, through the windowed room. I felt like I could feel the earth moving, along with the clouds. It was such a sensation. I was about age eight. I definitely returned to that spot to "catch the world move again". It was such a thrill.
8-)
Where was it coming from? and how/why could I see it through the heat of the sun on my page? It was nice, neat. Made me feel special, that I got an "insight" into how nature works. I could see it before my eyes. 8-)
I just enjoyed the ambiance, as I turned page after page...
It reminded me of a time when I was sitting at the dining room table made of glass. I was looking down into the glass, and it was there, that my eye was trained to see beyond what was in front of me: I could see into the clouds. I was looking down into the glass. It was reflecting the sky from above, through the windowed room. I felt like I could feel the earth moving, along with the clouds. It was such a sensation. I was about age eight. I definitely returned to that spot to "catch the world move again". It was such a thrill.
8-)
Communication and Obama
Quite informing, inspiring, and exciting!
here for commentary,
http://jonnybaker.blogs.com/jonnybaker/2009/01/the-social-pulpit-barak-obama-gets-it.html
or
http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2009/01/report-on-obama.html
here for the article:
http://blog.guykawasaki.com//OBAMA%20SNA%20Strategic_1.pdf
here for commentary,
http://jonnybaker.blogs.com/jonnybaker/2009/01/the-social-pulpit-barak-obama-gets-it.html
or
http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2009/01/report-on-obama.html
here for the article:
http://blog.guykawasaki.com//OBAMA%20SNA%20Strategic_1.pdf
January 26, 2009
So Cute.
Shannon and her friend, Sarah. So cute, playing dress up with a bunch of my scarves and high heels. Fans and what not from around the world. I enjoy letting them play with these things, getting a feel for other countries and cultures. swell.
It is wet outside.
It is wet outside. So I took a walk.
It is cold outside. So I bundled up.
And I took my camera.
I ran some, jogged. Walked some, too.
Went through the woods. the creek. the bridge.
Saw the water, breathed it in.
It was cold, too.
So I could feel my lungs. my legs.
It felt good. I know I am alive.
The houses. the dogs. chasing me. licking me. yum.
"bye, little doggy," I said. And it was a Rottweiler.
a big one. with a chain around its neck. come running at me.
i treat it like a poodle and it obeys.
it is the kind of wet where there is Rain, but no drops.
I could hear it. The Trees were telling that there was rain, but i could see nor feel it.
It just was. It was just there, in the air.
I was in it. A crisp cold Bath of Rain.
So I swam.
I ran. in the rain. Yum.
It is cold outside. So I bundled up.
And I took my camera.
I ran some, jogged. Walked some, too.
Went through the woods. the creek. the bridge.
Saw the water, breathed it in.
It was cold, too.
So I could feel my lungs. my legs.
It felt good. I know I am alive.
The houses. the dogs. chasing me. licking me. yum.
"bye, little doggy," I said. And it was a Rottweiler.
a big one. with a chain around its neck. come running at me.
i treat it like a poodle and it obeys.
it is the kind of wet where there is Rain, but no drops.
I could hear it. The Trees were telling that there was rain, but i could see nor feel it.
It just was. It was just there, in the air.
I was in it. A crisp cold Bath of Rain.
So I swam.
I ran. in the rain. Yum.
January 22, 2009
January 20, 2009
Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!
Today I started teaching my new ESL class at Eastfield College, and today was the inauguration of Barak Obama -quite a big and historic day! One of the students in my class brought up the subject and we were able to talk about it more. I was able to show them what the word meant -among others. :) We have fun. :)
God is Gerrific!
Today I started teaching my new ESL class at Eastfield College, and today was the inauguration of Barak Obama -quite a big and historic day! One of the students in my class brought up the subject and we were able to talk about it more. I was able to show them what the word meant -among others. :) We have fun. :)
God is Gerrific!
January 16, 2009
It is the love of money that is the root of evils. 1 Timothy 6:10
We should live our lives free from the love of money. Hebrews 13:5
God is love. 1 John 4:8. And I love and worship God.
God is the maker of all things, owns all things, and when we Look to Him, he immediately provides all our needs, and I have learned to live content in whatever I have. amen. Philippians 4:10.
We should live our lives free from the love of money. Hebrews 13:5
God is love. 1 John 4:8. And I love and worship God.
God is the maker of all things, owns all things, and when we Look to Him, he immediately provides all our needs, and I have learned to live content in whatever I have. amen. Philippians 4:10.
January 15, 2009
January 13, 2009
A Really Strange thing happened today...
So, I went to wamu to apply for a credit card. I don't have one, never have. I don't want one -i just don't care that much about money. But I hear these things like, "it is good to have one" to buy homes and stuff with. i am so sick of this. i feel so weird right now...
So, i went in in faith, that i could get one, and plus, understand all the terrible "terms and conditions." i hate these, obviously. I really was wanting to understand them. so, i went in asking questions. Maybe I asked too many (which, I know for sure is never a bad thing). I wanted to get to the bottom of it, which, in reality, is hell.
This is how it went: I came in, the lady was nice, blonde, I felt like I could relate. She asked me questions, showed me her screen and updated my current account information. Then she started "applying" and setting me up for a credit card. During this process, the one of the update screens she was on all of the sudden dissapeared. She found it, thinking that was weird. Once we finished that first part, and needed to move onto the next, the server stopped working! I was like wow, okay. So, eerrrr... I am just soo frustrated.
She was frustrated too. And they ended up telling me that I wasn't approved. i was like, What?? Why? And they are going to Mail it to me. What?!?!????
I am so frustrated.
Why did this happen this way?
Maybe -and I sure it was for my Good.
I was asked recently if I am afraid to make money. No, I am not afraid to make money. I hate money, is the deal.
It is sickening.
We are supposed to be good stewards of what we have. Have money, that is fine. But the Word says, that we can either Love God, or money, but not both. I. hate. money. (Matthew 6:24).
If money is your god, then you don't know love and simply use people and the world for your own gain and will ultimately perish. Vanity.
I. hate. money.
Put me out in a forest somewhere, and I'll be happy. I SOOO wish this world was based on love and giving, not gain and money. Yuck. And it will be one day. Jesus will come back and reign, it is a fact.
NOthing can stand against God. No thing. Nothing.
God has His chosen people, the Israelites.
The War will end. The Palestinians will be comquered. It is a scary deal. And there is no peace until the End of it. amen.
There is a difference between like and love.
You reflect a person you like.
You are willing to discipline a person you love.
That is why God can't be around some people, because He loves them tooo much. He does not like what they are doing... it is for their good, until they Seee.
Right after I got into my car after wamu, a song played from my cd: one of my favorites:
it started up saying,
"frustration in the air, people who don't care, well it's gonna get you down,
you'll fall, yes you will hit a wall
but get back on your feet
and you'll be stronger and smarter
and i know, becuase i've been there before
knocking down the doors of
REJECTION,
REJECTION,
won't take NO for an answer
and you'll see,
cuase if it's meant to be, nothing can compare to deserving your dream.
It's amazing, it's amazing, all that You can do...
it's amazing, makes my heart sing.
"
Jem.
ah..
So, i went in in faith, that i could get one, and plus, understand all the terrible "terms and conditions." i hate these, obviously. I really was wanting to understand them. so, i went in asking questions. Maybe I asked too many (which, I know for sure is never a bad thing). I wanted to get to the bottom of it, which, in reality, is hell.
This is how it went: I came in, the lady was nice, blonde, I felt like I could relate. She asked me questions, showed me her screen and updated my current account information. Then she started "applying" and setting me up for a credit card. During this process, the one of the update screens she was on all of the sudden dissapeared. She found it, thinking that was weird. Once we finished that first part, and needed to move onto the next, the server stopped working! I was like wow, okay. So, eerrrr... I am just soo frustrated.
She was frustrated too. And they ended up telling me that I wasn't approved. i was like, What?? Why? And they are going to Mail it to me. What?!?!????
I am so frustrated.
Why did this happen this way?
Maybe -and I sure it was for my Good.
I was asked recently if I am afraid to make money. No, I am not afraid to make money. I hate money, is the deal.
It is sickening.
We are supposed to be good stewards of what we have. Have money, that is fine. But the Word says, that we can either Love God, or money, but not both. I. hate. money. (Matthew 6:24).
If money is your god, then you don't know love and simply use people and the world for your own gain and will ultimately perish. Vanity.
I. hate. money.
Put me out in a forest somewhere, and I'll be happy. I SOOO wish this world was based on love and giving, not gain and money. Yuck. And it will be one day. Jesus will come back and reign, it is a fact.
NOthing can stand against God. No thing. Nothing.
God has His chosen people, the Israelites.
The War will end. The Palestinians will be comquered. It is a scary deal. And there is no peace until the End of it. amen.
There is a difference between like and love.
You reflect a person you like.
You are willing to discipline a person you love.
That is why God can't be around some people, because He loves them tooo much. He does not like what they are doing... it is for their good, until they Seee.
Right after I got into my car after wamu, a song played from my cd: one of my favorites:
it started up saying,
"frustration in the air, people who don't care, well it's gonna get you down,
you'll fall, yes you will hit a wall
but get back on your feet
and you'll be stronger and smarter
and i know, becuase i've been there before
knocking down the doors of
REJECTION,
REJECTION,
won't take NO for an answer
and you'll see,
cuase if it's meant to be, nothing can compare to deserving your dream.
It's amazing, it's amazing, all that You can do...
it's amazing, makes my heart sing.
"
Jem.
ah..
January 7, 2009
My A.M. Devo
This morning I read Proverbs 7. Today is the 7th, and there are 31 chapters of proverbs, and 31 days in the month. Read one a day, and it could go on for yearrss! This is like my 7th year to do this...
and each time is different and I see something new, or have a new revelation. Learning never ends!
Proverbs 7
My son, keep my words
and treasure up my commandments with you; keep my commandments and live;
keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; bind them on your fingers;
write them on the table of your heart.
Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," and call insight your intimate friend,
to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.
For at the window of my house I have looked our through my lattice,
and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths,
a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner,
taking the road to her house in the twilight, in the evening,
at the time of night and darkness.
And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.
She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home,
now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait.
She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him,
"I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows;
so now I have come out to meet you, to see you eagerly, and I have found you.
I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen;
I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love.
For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey;
he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home."
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him.
All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.
And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stay into her paths,
for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a might throng.
Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death."
This reminds me of a poem that I heard at DBU by Chris Vitatoe:
"The Woman Did"
A truth I must express, my friend,
So heed my words yet once again
And I shall tell thee why and when
Our troubles all began!
Pray tell, who ate the apple when
The world was still void f sin
And caused a curse upon all men?
Behold, the Woman did!
A bloody war took place at Troy,
As love-stuck prince fought for his joy.
What creature had seduced the boy?
The Woman did!
When Job laid sick upon the sod,
With sores and boils across his bod,
Who tempted him to blaspheme God?
The Woman did!
King Arthur's end began, I hear
When he met one name Guinevere!
Who caused his end? Again, I fear
The Woman did!
Mike Tyson's Wealth is nearly Spend,
With not the cash to pay his rent!
What devil robbed his every cent?
The Woman did!
John the Baptist now is dead.
He could have lived for years instead!
Who told the king to take his head?
The Woman did!
"Anakin!" Kenobi cried.
"Has evil now become your guide?"
What pushed him to the darker side?
The Woman did!
King David plotted, schemed, and lied,
But who caused Uriah's homicide,
By bathing naked while outside?
The Woman did!
The Count of Monte Cristo's sin
Was vengeance on his former friend!
Who caused their conflict to begin?
The Woman did!
When Philistines came to his lair,
The strongman Sampson had no hair!
Who told the guards to shave him bare?
The Woman did!
When ash and brimstone pummeled down,
To level Sodom to the ground,
who disobeyed and turned around?
Behold, the Woman did!
Now, of course a man wrote this. But I asked the same question myself, and realized, the woman strayed in the beginning, too, just kind of wandering around, "Ooh! look at this yummy fruit I found! Yum, here, have some!"
Where are her boundaries? Her discipline? Her wisdom?
Thanks to Proverbs 31, we can see a hard working woman, about her business, and not making any foolishness.
We are all malfunctioning, in one way or another, and some's are more visible or obvious than others. Each has a positive and negative, a good side, and bad. Men, and women alike have helped and harmed the world.
It takes discipline to make sure we are on the Right courses. Amen.
and each time is different and I see something new, or have a new revelation. Learning never ends!
Proverbs 7
My son, keep my words
and treasure up my commandments with you; keep my commandments and live;
keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; bind them on your fingers;
write them on the table of your heart.
Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," and call insight your intimate friend,
to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.
For at the window of my house I have looked our through my lattice,
and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths,
a young man lacking sense, passing along the street near her corner,
taking the road to her house in the twilight, in the evening,
at the time of night and darkness.
And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.
She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home,
now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait.
She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him,
"I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows;
so now I have come out to meet you, to see you eagerly, and I have found you.
I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen;
I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love.
For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey;
he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home."
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him.
All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.
And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stay into her paths,
for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a might throng.
Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death."
This reminds me of a poem that I heard at DBU by Chris Vitatoe:
"The Woman Did"
A truth I must express, my friend,
So heed my words yet once again
And I shall tell thee why and when
Our troubles all began!
Pray tell, who ate the apple when
The world was still void f sin
And caused a curse upon all men?
Behold, the Woman did!
A bloody war took place at Troy,
As love-stuck prince fought for his joy.
What creature had seduced the boy?
The Woman did!
When Job laid sick upon the sod,
With sores and boils across his bod,
Who tempted him to blaspheme God?
The Woman did!
King Arthur's end began, I hear
When he met one name Guinevere!
Who caused his end? Again, I fear
The Woman did!
Mike Tyson's Wealth is nearly Spend,
With not the cash to pay his rent!
What devil robbed his every cent?
The Woman did!
John the Baptist now is dead.
He could have lived for years instead!
Who told the king to take his head?
The Woman did!
"Anakin!" Kenobi cried.
"Has evil now become your guide?"
What pushed him to the darker side?
The Woman did!
King David plotted, schemed, and lied,
But who caused Uriah's homicide,
By bathing naked while outside?
The Woman did!
The Count of Monte Cristo's sin
Was vengeance on his former friend!
Who caused their conflict to begin?
The Woman did!
When Philistines came to his lair,
The strongman Sampson had no hair!
Who told the guards to shave him bare?
The Woman did!
When ash and brimstone pummeled down,
To level Sodom to the ground,
who disobeyed and turned around?
Behold, the Woman did!
Now, of course a man wrote this. But I asked the same question myself, and realized, the woman strayed in the beginning, too, just kind of wandering around, "Ooh! look at this yummy fruit I found! Yum, here, have some!"
Where are her boundaries? Her discipline? Her wisdom?
Thanks to Proverbs 31, we can see a hard working woman, about her business, and not making any foolishness.
We are all malfunctioning, in one way or another, and some's are more visible or obvious than others. Each has a positive and negative, a good side, and bad. Men, and women alike have helped and harmed the world.
It takes discipline to make sure we are on the Right courses. Amen.
Curse of the woman.
Cramps.
Yuck and ouch. Have you ever had so much pain you threw up? Yeah, I have experienced that recently... Many women "fix" this problem by automated cycles with birth control pills and such.
I was never encouraged to do such. Natur-al is the way to go in this house. Born of natural births, all three of us girls. Go mom! She has never ever ever ever been a fan of prescription medicine, only home remedies and what she has found to work -never drugs. She doesn't even like caffeine! Highly discouraged amoung all other American foods... :P Whole Foods store- a fav. I remember going down the aisles as a little girl, about three, looking at all the options of cereals and dry goods to pour into your bag and tie up, only to pick your next choice. Mom has always done things "differently." Leaving me, to do the same as her. I enjoy it. It opens up my world to other options and possibilities. I'm always a fan of the alternative, because that means "better", right? That is what I grew up learning. And then, after Spain, I realized that everybody thinks (or should) that what they are doing is best for them -even though it may not always be true. And this left me questioning my way of life... this brought in much doubt to me, and testing, most of all. A few years later, I have concluded that the only right way of life is through "Faith" because, I also learned that WE CAN NEVER KNOW ENOUGH about what is truly Right -only have Faith that what God Tells us Is true. If we rely on what WE or another source other than God, say is true, then it is already proven that we will fail. But with God, all things are possible. And that is where that testing left me, and I feel the safest there. Amen.
So, to me, it is OKAY to be the way I AM, NO matter what. No matter what other people say. Everyone deems something as best and right, and others say that "everything is okay!" and "it doesn't matter what you do." What frustrates me is when those people that say that, try and give you advice... I thought it didn't matter???
And it is also hard whenever they do not support your way, or what you truly feel inside, or even acknowledge it... ouch. To me, that is when love is tested, is whenever the other person will Listen to how and what you feel and try to work it out with you... :) To me, if not, then they obviously don't care about what you are about!!! Because that is important too... "We shall consider others and their interests, too." and the second greatest commandment, after Loving God, is to Love others like we love ourselves.
So, I had to stay in bed today for a few hours and just sleep it off. After a few hours I am thankfully better. For some reason the first few hours are like a climbing through a brick wall... I praise and thank the Lord for always timing it on days that I don't have much to do... He is So Good. God is Good all the time. He really is. And many people are scared of Him, which we should be if we do not know his Love, I pray that we can realize His mucho Love. 8) He takes care of His children, and i am one amoung a Family... yay.
I am amazed.
I shan't get paid until about February because of the school scheduling. Which, by the way, I have been praying about. I just realllyyyy hope that all my classes make and have enough students. I have No idea what the ratios are like. I just pray that enough students will have enough money to take classes, including mine, so that I can have a job and get paid, too! Circle of Life. I wish we weren't dependent on monies, for i'm not. I am dependent on God, who Provides All things. Even today I was praying to the Lord about what I should do... for I have looked for multiple jobs for months now, and Every time, He says, "don't worry about, I've got you covered," wow, God knows my plans, He has already set them, so there is No reason for me to worry. He does not like anxiety or worry. "Cast your cares upon me, for I care for you." Amen. So, after my pointless search again, I first heard the Lord tell me, "I will/do take care of you." Then, I prayed, I told Him, I need gas money. After I lied down, a friend texted me to see if I could watch her children tonight for a bit. I said sure, and was thankful to the Lord -praising Him, for He hears me! "God listens to those who Obey and Worship Him" John 9:31. I Fear Him, I really do. That is what judges and moves my actions, even if other people do Not understand at first. For all things will be revealed one day -the True intentions of people's hearts, what a dreadful and cheerful day. Yay!!! I can't wait. This day is known as the Great Day of Judgement... where Jesus, the true Judge of all things, will sit upon the White Thrown, and reward or throw away. He will burn everything that is dead and worthless. My friends, let us be Alive in Him and worthy! By His stripes and Blood we are Healed and Able to do Good. For He sees all things.
He provides Perfectly.
And sometimes I don't know what I will need, or what is coming up, so I go ahead and Say a prayer, and trust, that He does and will provide all my needs. For all things are from Him, so, I know that he owns my life. He gave me/us choice of whom to give it to, free will, and the greatest is to give it back to Him. I do. I say, "use me as you will" for His good. His Kingdom. I am in. Working for, for we are all working for something. I set my eyes and heart on His. Only.
And it is really satisfying. And all are invited and longed by Him to do this. He is fighting for us to obey Him and enter In. It is best for All!
An interesting tuesday today. by the way, i am counting down... two more weeks from today until school starts...
I am burning this wonderful rose smelling candle... yum
Yuck and ouch. Have you ever had so much pain you threw up? Yeah, I have experienced that recently... Many women "fix" this problem by automated cycles with birth control pills and such.
I was never encouraged to do such. Natur-al is the way to go in this house. Born of natural births, all three of us girls. Go mom! She has never ever ever ever been a fan of prescription medicine, only home remedies and what she has found to work -never drugs. She doesn't even like caffeine! Highly discouraged amoung all other American foods... :P Whole Foods store- a fav. I remember going down the aisles as a little girl, about three, looking at all the options of cereals and dry goods to pour into your bag and tie up, only to pick your next choice. Mom has always done things "differently." Leaving me, to do the same as her. I enjoy it. It opens up my world to other options and possibilities. I'm always a fan of the alternative, because that means "better", right? That is what I grew up learning. And then, after Spain, I realized that everybody thinks (or should) that what they are doing is best for them -even though it may not always be true. And this left me questioning my way of life... this brought in much doubt to me, and testing, most of all. A few years later, I have concluded that the only right way of life is through "Faith" because, I also learned that WE CAN NEVER KNOW ENOUGH about what is truly Right -only have Faith that what God Tells us Is true. If we rely on what WE or another source other than God, say is true, then it is already proven that we will fail. But with God, all things are possible. And that is where that testing left me, and I feel the safest there. Amen.
So, to me, it is OKAY to be the way I AM, NO matter what. No matter what other people say. Everyone deems something as best and right, and others say that "everything is okay!" and "it doesn't matter what you do." What frustrates me is when those people that say that, try and give you advice... I thought it didn't matter???
And it is also hard whenever they do not support your way, or what you truly feel inside, or even acknowledge it... ouch. To me, that is when love is tested, is whenever the other person will Listen to how and what you feel and try to work it out with you... :) To me, if not, then they obviously don't care about what you are about!!! Because that is important too... "We shall consider others and their interests, too." and the second greatest commandment, after Loving God, is to Love others like we love ourselves.
So, I had to stay in bed today for a few hours and just sleep it off. After a few hours I am thankfully better. For some reason the first few hours are like a climbing through a brick wall... I praise and thank the Lord for always timing it on days that I don't have much to do... He is So Good. God is Good all the time. He really is. And many people are scared of Him, which we should be if we do not know his Love, I pray that we can realize His mucho Love. 8) He takes care of His children, and i am one amoung a Family... yay.
I am amazed.
I shan't get paid until about February because of the school scheduling. Which, by the way, I have been praying about. I just realllyyyy hope that all my classes make and have enough students. I have No idea what the ratios are like. I just pray that enough students will have enough money to take classes, including mine, so that I can have a job and get paid, too! Circle of Life. I wish we weren't dependent on monies, for i'm not. I am dependent on God, who Provides All things. Even today I was praying to the Lord about what I should do... for I have looked for multiple jobs for months now, and Every time, He says, "don't worry about, I've got you covered," wow, God knows my plans, He has already set them, so there is No reason for me to worry. He does not like anxiety or worry. "Cast your cares upon me, for I care for you." Amen. So, after my pointless search again, I first heard the Lord tell me, "I will/do take care of you." Then, I prayed, I told Him, I need gas money. After I lied down, a friend texted me to see if I could watch her children tonight for a bit. I said sure, and was thankful to the Lord -praising Him, for He hears me! "God listens to those who Obey and Worship Him" John 9:31. I Fear Him, I really do. That is what judges and moves my actions, even if other people do Not understand at first. For all things will be revealed one day -the True intentions of people's hearts, what a dreadful and cheerful day. Yay!!! I can't wait. This day is known as the Great Day of Judgement... where Jesus, the true Judge of all things, will sit upon the White Thrown, and reward or throw away. He will burn everything that is dead and worthless. My friends, let us be Alive in Him and worthy! By His stripes and Blood we are Healed and Able to do Good. For He sees all things.
He provides Perfectly.
And sometimes I don't know what I will need, or what is coming up, so I go ahead and Say a prayer, and trust, that He does and will provide all my needs. For all things are from Him, so, I know that he owns my life. He gave me/us choice of whom to give it to, free will, and the greatest is to give it back to Him. I do. I say, "use me as you will" for His good. His Kingdom. I am in. Working for, for we are all working for something. I set my eyes and heart on His. Only.
And it is really satisfying. And all are invited and longed by Him to do this. He is fighting for us to obey Him and enter In. It is best for All!
An interesting tuesday today. by the way, i am counting down... two more weeks from today until school starts...
I am burning this wonderful rose smelling candle... yum
January 5, 2009
Monday, the 5th
And everybody is back to work! Almost everybody. Students are still in their pajamas till a few more weeks. And me, between the two, I went up to the school today to get my books. I have been waiting for them so that I may prepare.
Yesterday was church, twice. Church is so good. I want more of it. :) (but i long for perfect church).
Saturday was hot! We played outside, and then us and a few of the neighborhood kids went down to the pond and played and jogged. I def got some sun and enjoyed it much. A little neighborhood kid, Jonathan, went with us. He is so cute, kinda :P, he is in the 2nd grade, and lives up the street. He will come bang on our door every now and then wandering if we have bananas (mom gave him one once, and now he wants one every time) and if we can play the board game "Life". Shannon and the other girls scream when they see him walking down the street and yell, "lock the doors!!!" lol... sometimes i'll go to the door and let him know what we are doing, or even invite him in for a little bit to play a game. Last time, we took him to the park with us. He enjoyed that. :)
Marcey had her camera the whole time -i used to do that. It is enjoyable to take pictures, looking through a different lens than just your eye's view, seeing the world through new eyes. It is quite refreshing. And can be celebrated after uploaded with others.
After the park, we got home soon enough for me to get ready to go. Chaverah is every first Saturday at the synogogue at sundown. I enjoy going. People join together, bring a dish, eat together, then the band plays and people dance. I love it! Afterwards we went out, downtown. While I was there I met a new person, he is an exchange student from France, so I gave him my usual welcome to the States. I invited him to go with us afterward, for he hasn't been out yet. He was so amazed at all the "tall building" and the four lane highways and bridges. It was like a shock to him. He told us that he was going to be going to Atlanta, and NY as well. We told him, "this is just a warm up for you!" It reminded me of the first time I went to NY, NY. I was so shocked, I couldn't walk. Once I got off the bus (I was with my choir), I was in awe and could only stand still to look at everything, all the lights, people, colors... I held onto my friend so she could lead me around while my eyes were in the sky! It was like that for Sedric. It made me smile.
We went down to Victory Park at the AA center, walked through the West End (which is now sadly closed), and all the way to the tallest building in Dallas at 71 stories, the America Bank Tower lit up green at night on Main street. We walked right up to the edge of it to peer up and get dizzy :P. It was a good warm up to NY for him, and a good walk for me. Two other friends were with us. It was rather late at night, when the bars and party scenes were just starting. Expensive cars driving around, limos, too. He was quite amazed. James drove, and Mackenzie went with us, too. James new car is really nice, too. It was a fun night. For some reason earlier that day, as I was getting dress, I had a feeling I would be doing something after Chaverah.
It is cold and rainy today. It rained all last night and icicles began to form everywhere. This morning Shannon and I noticed the trees were completely frozen. It took me a while now to jump to the thought of grabbing my camera. I am waiting till the rain stops a bit, and then I should go shoot around a bit.
For now, study to the books, not to learn, but to teach :). I love it, finally a calling for me I have answered and am satisfied with. Answering was the hard part because so many "phones" were ringing...
Time tells
time heals
time reveals
and time kills.
it takes time to complete all things
without time, we are nothing.
Time bends
and mends,
it stacks on every end
it ties together all the parts
and loosing everything without heart.
Without time, we are nothing.
It requires patience and strength.
Leaving us empty sometimes to think.
It is these times time is working
to create for us a new time to begin our journeys.
Sometimes to place us back on our feet,
but like I said,
it requires patience and strength.
Without time, we are nothing.
But to God, time is nothing, but a simple thing.
He is time, and all things.
Creating within, he sets the motions.
Time is simply our way to record life.
He knows, he knows,
he knows how we work, using this time to fix all our parts.
We are within this realm of time, surrendered without choice to His time.
for we cannot see how he works or what he is doing
He sees and knows all, he is above all, looking down at our map, deciding.
Placing us in waiting, for some reason we may not know.
But let us wait in patience and joy, for that is the way to go.
Enjoy life, and "make the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil" (Eph. 5).
Yesterday was church, twice. Church is so good. I want more of it. :) (but i long for perfect church).
Saturday was hot! We played outside, and then us and a few of the neighborhood kids went down to the pond and played and jogged. I def got some sun and enjoyed it much. A little neighborhood kid, Jonathan, went with us. He is so cute, kinda :P, he is in the 2nd grade, and lives up the street. He will come bang on our door every now and then wandering if we have bananas (mom gave him one once, and now he wants one every time) and if we can play the board game "Life". Shannon and the other girls scream when they see him walking down the street and yell, "lock the doors!!!" lol... sometimes i'll go to the door and let him know what we are doing, or even invite him in for a little bit to play a game. Last time, we took him to the park with us. He enjoyed that. :)
Marcey had her camera the whole time -i used to do that. It is enjoyable to take pictures, looking through a different lens than just your eye's view, seeing the world through new eyes. It is quite refreshing. And can be celebrated after uploaded with others.
After the park, we got home soon enough for me to get ready to go. Chaverah is every first Saturday at the synogogue at sundown. I enjoy going. People join together, bring a dish, eat together, then the band plays and people dance. I love it! Afterwards we went out, downtown. While I was there I met a new person, he is an exchange student from France, so I gave him my usual welcome to the States. I invited him to go with us afterward, for he hasn't been out yet. He was so amazed at all the "tall building" and the four lane highways and bridges. It was like a shock to him. He told us that he was going to be going to Atlanta, and NY as well. We told him, "this is just a warm up for you!" It reminded me of the first time I went to NY, NY. I was so shocked, I couldn't walk. Once I got off the bus (I was with my choir), I was in awe and could only stand still to look at everything, all the lights, people, colors... I held onto my friend so she could lead me around while my eyes were in the sky! It was like that for Sedric. It made me smile.
We went down to Victory Park at the AA center, walked through the West End (which is now sadly closed), and all the way to the tallest building in Dallas at 71 stories, the America Bank Tower lit up green at night on Main street. We walked right up to the edge of it to peer up and get dizzy :P. It was a good warm up to NY for him, and a good walk for me. Two other friends were with us. It was rather late at night, when the bars and party scenes were just starting. Expensive cars driving around, limos, too. He was quite amazed. James drove, and Mackenzie went with us, too. James new car is really nice, too. It was a fun night. For some reason earlier that day, as I was getting dress, I had a feeling I would be doing something after Chaverah.
It is cold and rainy today. It rained all last night and icicles began to form everywhere. This morning Shannon and I noticed the trees were completely frozen. It took me a while now to jump to the thought of grabbing my camera. I am waiting till the rain stops a bit, and then I should go shoot around a bit.
For now, study to the books, not to learn, but to teach :). I love it, finally a calling for me I have answered and am satisfied with. Answering was the hard part because so many "phones" were ringing...
Time tells
time heals
time reveals
and time kills.
it takes time to complete all things
without time, we are nothing.
Time bends
and mends,
it stacks on every end
it ties together all the parts
and loosing everything without heart.
Without time, we are nothing.
It requires patience and strength.
Leaving us empty sometimes to think.
It is these times time is working
to create for us a new time to begin our journeys.
Sometimes to place us back on our feet,
but like I said,
it requires patience and strength.
Without time, we are nothing.
But to God, time is nothing, but a simple thing.
He is time, and all things.
Creating within, he sets the motions.
Time is simply our way to record life.
He knows, he knows,
he knows how we work, using this time to fix all our parts.
We are within this realm of time, surrendered without choice to His time.
for we cannot see how he works or what he is doing
He sees and knows all, he is above all, looking down at our map, deciding.
Placing us in waiting, for some reason we may not know.
But let us wait in patience and joy, for that is the way to go.
Enjoy life, and "make the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil" (Eph. 5).
January 2, 2009
The eve of New Years, '09
It is now officially 2009, and the 2nd, and Friday, already. Yes, the year has flown by, already! :P One thing that has been different for me already is the pace of my life and schedules so far in welcoming in the new year. I have been preparing for 09, at least the spring semester, i do not what holds after that. Things sure have slowed down for me, and I am trying to keep it that way, in order to focus my attention on just one main thing, and not so many different things as I have usually done. I hope this results in better success and fruit :).
My car sits outside, I have not gotten in it as often I used to. Mulitple times a day, it would be, but now (until work begins) it is only a few times a week, usually to go to church.
The last time I got in it was December 31, 2008, which was only three days ago. It was in the p.m. and dark. Shannon and I bundled up, grabbed a pair of socks, and followed her neighbor friend and her family to the skating rink. Her friend had run over to our house a few hours before to ask us if we wanted to go. With mom and marcey having plans, I decided to go with Shannon for a while and skate. It was quite fun- I love spending time with ones younger than me, giving them my attention and energy, praying for them and shinning the Light for them to follow as they grow up.
With the three of us holding hands making circle after circle around the rink, picking each other when shannon would fall and autumn to trip over her, we laughed and giggled, rested and used our tickets to get a funnel cake and sierra mist.
The rink had balloons in bags to be let out at the countdown. I ended up leaving about an hour early after receiving Katie's phone call: she had gotten off of work early enough for us to go do something. I went home, changed into some boots and a fury colored shirt and made my way down highway 75 to Trinity Hall at Mockingbird Station. It was surprisingly empty. We both got parking spots in the main parking rows. She barely beat me there, waiting for me at the table closest to the door, where the band was.
Not long after that, the waitress brought her her drink, and asked if we would like to move. Surprisingly, and despite the line, the table nearby, amongst the crowd, had opened up. We did want to move because of the door -and it was cold! I glanced and saw it, getting up quickly to grab that one- it was right in front of the band! I felt a duty to be extra attentive to the music, cheering them on. Now, of course everyone here is Irish. When I had gone to the bathroom and got a chance to see the crowd, most were wearing green, some were dancing, and a few had kilts on. Returning back to my seat, I confirmed my assesment with Katie and realizing, "this is a Pub, afterall!"The band was yuda-leighing, and the drummer had a mature red beard on his white, green-eyed face. I got the vibe soon after that.
I ordered my drink and joined in the clapping, and then it was 22 minutes till 2009 before I knew it. Everyone was already blowing their horns, turning their noise makers, and the screen for the countdown was scrolling down in place of the band in front of us. On it, we watched, for the first time, the Dallas countdown at the America Airlines center, instead of New York's! It was quite historic, I thought. It was like "the new New York!"
49,48,47....32,31,30...10,9,8...4,3,2,1!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Katie and I watched everyone kiss on the screen, and blow their confetti in the air. Then I turned and looked at everyone around me -why do people kiss on new year's? Anyway, Katie and I toasted, and enjoyed watching the fireworks on the screen go off of buildings around town. We could hear them from outside. I got up to go see them, but we were blocked by some buildings... And then the yuda-leighing got louder! the bag pipe man in a kilt stood in the middle of the pub and blew two songs! It was joyous, and as Katie said, special. "It is like a blessing," she said. It was right in our ears, but I took it as a blessing anyway. And that was our toast -to be blessed, "a year of blessings," we said. "It is going to be like a rain of blessings! Watch out!" I added. And I make it a point to remind her often.
Also for the 2009 year, it is to be a year of Glory. "Let the Glory Rise and Shine," it shall.
I remember 2007 was a year for fruit.
I don't remember setting something special for '08, but it was a year mostly for completion. However, for me, it was a year of endings and beginnings -definitely a year of CHANGE. for America too, with Obama, which will set a whole new motion not only for America, but the World. And I will be part of it.
We sat a little bit longer, enjoying the music, and chatting about my Norse mythology findings. After the band slowed down, and the people behind us began to show signs of drunkenness, we decided it would be best to head out. It was crowded on the streets at 1a.m. And the traffic was slow, which was good. I would like to think that we were all being cautious for drunk driver -and we were. We all know that is a killer. So we go slow and cautiously. I got home safely. Mom was still up and Marcey came in a few minutes later. We ended our celebrations and called it a night.
On New Years day, the 1st, yesterday, I wanted to bring glory to God. I actually would have loved to had a worship and Glory service new years eve night. But, with the Lord with me, I kept it in my heart. It is waiting to come out, and a dedication to the Lord, corporately, would be nice. Lord, I dedicate me to You. With all glory and honor, I fear and obey You. You are my God and King, my Ruler. Let this new year come with Your plan and reigns. and whatever happens, I still look to You as Sovereign. Amen.
Let the Glory rise, in 2009. amen.
My car sits outside, I have not gotten in it as often I used to. Mulitple times a day, it would be, but now (until work begins) it is only a few times a week, usually to go to church.
The last time I got in it was December 31, 2008, which was only three days ago. It was in the p.m. and dark. Shannon and I bundled up, grabbed a pair of socks, and followed her neighbor friend and her family to the skating rink. Her friend had run over to our house a few hours before to ask us if we wanted to go. With mom and marcey having plans, I decided to go with Shannon for a while and skate. It was quite fun- I love spending time with ones younger than me, giving them my attention and energy, praying for them and shinning the Light for them to follow as they grow up.
With the three of us holding hands making circle after circle around the rink, picking each other when shannon would fall and autumn to trip over her, we laughed and giggled, rested and used our tickets to get a funnel cake and sierra mist.
The rink had balloons in bags to be let out at the countdown. I ended up leaving about an hour early after receiving Katie's phone call: she had gotten off of work early enough for us to go do something. I went home, changed into some boots and a fury colored shirt and made my way down highway 75 to Trinity Hall at Mockingbird Station. It was surprisingly empty. We both got parking spots in the main parking rows. She barely beat me there, waiting for me at the table closest to the door, where the band was.
Not long after that, the waitress brought her her drink, and asked if we would like to move. Surprisingly, and despite the line, the table nearby, amongst the crowd, had opened up. We did want to move because of the door -and it was cold! I glanced and saw it, getting up quickly to grab that one- it was right in front of the band! I felt a duty to be extra attentive to the music, cheering them on. Now, of course everyone here is Irish. When I had gone to the bathroom and got a chance to see the crowd, most were wearing green, some were dancing, and a few had kilts on. Returning back to my seat, I confirmed my assesment with Katie and realizing, "this is a Pub, afterall!"The band was yuda-leighing, and the drummer had a mature red beard on his white, green-eyed face. I got the vibe soon after that.
I ordered my drink and joined in the clapping, and then it was 22 minutes till 2009 before I knew it. Everyone was already blowing their horns, turning their noise makers, and the screen for the countdown was scrolling down in place of the band in front of us. On it, we watched, for the first time, the Dallas countdown at the America Airlines center, instead of New York's! It was quite historic, I thought. It was like "the new New York!"
49,48,47....32,31,30...10,9,8...4,3,2,1!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Katie and I watched everyone kiss on the screen, and blow their confetti in the air. Then I turned and looked at everyone around me -why do people kiss on new year's? Anyway, Katie and I toasted, and enjoyed watching the fireworks on the screen go off of buildings around town. We could hear them from outside. I got up to go see them, but we were blocked by some buildings... And then the yuda-leighing got louder! the bag pipe man in a kilt stood in the middle of the pub and blew two songs! It was joyous, and as Katie said, special. "It is like a blessing," she said. It was right in our ears, but I took it as a blessing anyway. And that was our toast -to be blessed, "a year of blessings," we said. "It is going to be like a rain of blessings! Watch out!" I added. And I make it a point to remind her often.
Also for the 2009 year, it is to be a year of Glory. "Let the Glory Rise and Shine," it shall.
I remember 2007 was a year for fruit.
I don't remember setting something special for '08, but it was a year mostly for completion. However, for me, it was a year of endings and beginnings -definitely a year of CHANGE. for America too, with Obama, which will set a whole new motion not only for America, but the World. And I will be part of it.
We sat a little bit longer, enjoying the music, and chatting about my Norse mythology findings. After the band slowed down, and the people behind us began to show signs of drunkenness, we decided it would be best to head out. It was crowded on the streets at 1a.m. And the traffic was slow, which was good. I would like to think that we were all being cautious for drunk driver -and we were. We all know that is a killer. So we go slow and cautiously. I got home safely. Mom was still up and Marcey came in a few minutes later. We ended our celebrations and called it a night.
On New Years day, the 1st, yesterday, I wanted to bring glory to God. I actually would have loved to had a worship and Glory service new years eve night. But, with the Lord with me, I kept it in my heart. It is waiting to come out, and a dedication to the Lord, corporately, would be nice. Lord, I dedicate me to You. With all glory and honor, I fear and obey You. You are my God and King, my Ruler. Let this new year come with Your plan and reigns. and whatever happens, I still look to You as Sovereign. Amen.
Let the Glory rise, in 2009. amen.
Today i woke up at a usual time. come to find that i had a possible fever blister on my lip. i didn't touch it or anything -and it hasn't gotten bigger, thankfully. I feel like it does even if i think about it... After a quick rescue from the fever blister, I got some more brownies and milk with cinnamon for breakfast- I made some last night, enough for about two weeks for all of us! I am pretty full on brownies now, though. Then i came to get on the computer and searched for some games to play. I found this one that is like the game Clue (which we all played for most of the afternoon yesturday- I quite enjoyed it). It was funny to me that the fist one I chose was a similar "mystery" and I didn't even know the details of the game, just stated playing it. Once I finished that one, I found another, but this one was "Go around the world in 80 days." Shannon came in from her slumber shortly after I started playing, and she sat here with me in my round chair and tried to go "day by day" with me in the game. We sat for a good while then we ended by me putting the computer away and turning to tickle her until I raced her to the kitchen. Then we started watching "The Little Princess" and making Ramen noodle :P (i used to make those every afternoon after school at my friends house, Ashley and Whitney, who lived down the street from us). Then I finished the painting project, showered, and now and waiting to go to worship service tonight.
activities in the Day
We have been painting. First I painted my room, and now we are painting some other parts of the house. Added an accent wall, changed the baseboards, and mom painted the whole hall bathroom! It is refreshing and brings a smile to the face when you see that you made something enjoyable. :) the color schemes are: dark brown for the trim, accent soft khaki blue wall, and cream color for the remaining walls. Of course the project is never complete, but at least we are at a good stopping place. The list of projects is quite long for the house.
for i deserve no other than to be whole. to be a blessing, to see the goods, even when i don't understand control. God help me, burden me for righteousness, i want to be Gold. Help me, Lord to be reminded to See and Look for the Good in things even when it seems untold. Even when I am confused and don't understand the Why. Remind that, "dear, there is Good there -humans just do not see. For put on your spiritual eyes and remember there is Joy to BE! Remember that humans do not understand and they get frustrated, but you, my dear, will remember, that I AM there. I know what goes on and why, you just hold your tongue and look for the Good in why." AM-en.
I am an organless Body.
I am an organless Body: missing many parts. These are not of the physical, instead, of the heart.
I am an organless Body, functioning on so few. Grown in the Grace of Him who fills me and makes me New.
This organless body I have recently become aware. Bare, shredded, and broken, it needs a much needed repair.
Without a father, grandparents, and the side of so many- gone, broken, sailed away- this child asks, where have they all gone, why didn't they stay?
I only have one mother and grandmother, two sisters, and a few friends. I don't know what relatives are, or family, or even a best-friend. What does an aunt do, and what are boys? For I know only so few. Where have all these people gone, disappeared and out of sight. This child looks again at what she's made of and realizes she is only one half of one side.
Once she has matured her eyes can begin to see -that something is wrong, something is missing deep in the depths of ME.
A Puzzle with missing pieces is incomplete, indeed- put together with other pieces is no fun to See or BE.
Many are like this, broken, and incomplete. God allows this, definitely for His Glory. For thankfully He saves the Day, and is the Free Hero that we All need. Who holds our pieces together, and repaints our eternity.
But i am still this broken puzzle, this body missing parts.
It is this process of realization, formation, that I crave for my missing parts- for each new one that I see I need, i cry in the realization that it was meant to be for me. I grieve my death, I grieve my own separation that happened long ago. Out of my control and caused by others, by sin, we are forced to undergo. This surgery of brokenness, "Here, let me distort," Sin says, "and break to pieces the little child that was meant to be whole. Here she is all broken now, I've stolen her food she needs. Now she can weep and crave for wholeness, and only dream of the possibility." "Here i am," says the Lord, who high above stands, "I am Her maker, i'll take her. I hold her in my hand. In my dominion she came from, and will return again. No matter what you do, you fool, you cannot ruin My Plans. Step aside you evil one, for I hold her organs. I replace, I remake, I can do it all again. And don't worry you fool, I hold the End." God says to me, that He knows best. "Don't worry little child, I am in your Chest."
Amen and glory to God, my father, who sees all so clearly. Especially when I am shocked and grieve the missing realities. He knows, has known, and has a plan. I am thankful I can stand strong in knowing He makes the Commands.
Amen.
I am an organless Body, functioning on so few. Grown in the Grace of Him who fills me and makes me New.
This organless body I have recently become aware. Bare, shredded, and broken, it needs a much needed repair.
Without a father, grandparents, and the side of so many- gone, broken, sailed away- this child asks, where have they all gone, why didn't they stay?
I only have one mother and grandmother, two sisters, and a few friends. I don't know what relatives are, or family, or even a best-friend. What does an aunt do, and what are boys? For I know only so few. Where have all these people gone, disappeared and out of sight. This child looks again at what she's made of and realizes she is only one half of one side.
Once she has matured her eyes can begin to see -that something is wrong, something is missing deep in the depths of ME.
A Puzzle with missing pieces is incomplete, indeed- put together with other pieces is no fun to See or BE.
Many are like this, broken, and incomplete. God allows this, definitely for His Glory. For thankfully He saves the Day, and is the Free Hero that we All need. Who holds our pieces together, and repaints our eternity.
But i am still this broken puzzle, this body missing parts.
It is this process of realization, formation, that I crave for my missing parts- for each new one that I see I need, i cry in the realization that it was meant to be for me. I grieve my death, I grieve my own separation that happened long ago. Out of my control and caused by others, by sin, we are forced to undergo. This surgery of brokenness, "Here, let me distort," Sin says, "and break to pieces the little child that was meant to be whole. Here she is all broken now, I've stolen her food she needs. Now she can weep and crave for wholeness, and only dream of the possibility." "Here i am," says the Lord, who high above stands, "I am Her maker, i'll take her. I hold her in my hand. In my dominion she came from, and will return again. No matter what you do, you fool, you cannot ruin My Plans. Step aside you evil one, for I hold her organs. I replace, I remake, I can do it all again. And don't worry you fool, I hold the End." God says to me, that He knows best. "Don't worry little child, I am in your Chest."
Amen and glory to God, my father, who sees all so clearly. Especially when I am shocked and grieve the missing realities. He knows, has known, and has a plan. I am thankful I can stand strong in knowing He makes the Commands.
Amen.
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