Curse of the woman.

Cramps.
Yuck and ouch. Have you ever had so much pain you threw up? Yeah, I have experienced that recently... Many women "fix" this problem by automated cycles with birth control pills and such.
I was never encouraged to do such. Natur-al is the way to go in this house. Born of natural births, all three of us girls. Go mom! She has never ever ever ever been a fan of prescription medicine, only home remedies and what she has found to work -never drugs. She doesn't even like caffeine! Highly discouraged amoung all other American foods... :P Whole Foods store- a fav. I remember going down the aisles as a little girl, about three, looking at all the options of cereals and dry goods to pour into your bag and tie up, only to pick your next choice. Mom has always done things "differently." Leaving me, to do the same as her. I enjoy it. It opens up my world to other options and possibilities. I'm always a fan of the alternative, because that means "better", right? That is what I grew up learning. And then, after Spain, I realized that everybody thinks (or should) that what they are doing is best for them -even though it may not always be true. And this left me questioning my way of life... this brought in much doubt to me, and testing, most of all. A few years later, I have concluded that the only right way of life is through "Faith" because, I also learned that WE CAN NEVER KNOW ENOUGH about what is truly Right -only have Faith that what God Tells us Is true. If we rely on what WE or another source other than God, say is true, then it is already proven that we will fail. But with God, all things are possible. And that is where that testing left me, and I feel the safest there. Amen.

So, to me, it is OKAY to be the way I AM, NO matter what. No matter what other people say. Everyone deems something as best and right, and others say that "everything is okay!" and "it doesn't matter what you do." What frustrates me is when those people that say that, try and give you advice... I thought it didn't matter???
And it is also hard whenever they do not support your way, or what you truly feel inside, or even acknowledge it... ouch. To me, that is when love is tested, is whenever the other person will Listen to how and what you feel and try to work it out with you... :) To me, if not, then they obviously don't care about what you are about!!! Because that is important too... "We shall consider others and their interests, too." and the second greatest commandment, after Loving God, is to Love others like we love ourselves.

So, I had to stay in bed today for a few hours and just sleep it off. After a few hours I am thankfully better. For some reason the first few hours are like a climbing through a brick wall... I praise and thank the Lord for always timing it on days that I don't have much to do... He is So Good. God is Good all the time. He really is. And many people are scared of Him, which we should be if we do not know his Love, I pray that we can realize His mucho Love. 8) He takes care of His children, and i am one amoung a Family... yay.

I am amazed.
I shan't get paid until about February because of the school scheduling. Which, by the way, I have been praying about. I just realllyyyy hope that all my classes make and have enough students. I have No idea what the ratios are like. I just pray that enough students will have enough money to take classes, including mine, so that I can have a job and get paid, too! Circle of Life. I wish we weren't dependent on monies, for i'm not. I am dependent on God, who Provides All things. Even today I was praying to the Lord about what I should do... for I have looked for multiple jobs for months now, and Every time, He says, "don't worry about, I've got you covered," wow, God knows my plans, He has already set them, so there is No reason for me to worry. He does not like anxiety or worry. "Cast your cares upon me, for I care for you." Amen. So, after my pointless search again, I first heard the Lord tell me, "I will/do take care of you." Then, I prayed, I told Him, I need gas money. After I lied down, a friend texted me to see if I could watch her children tonight for a bit. I said sure, and was thankful to the Lord -praising Him, for He hears me! "God listens to those who Obey and Worship Him" John 9:31. I Fear Him, I really do. That is what judges and moves my actions, even if other people do Not understand at first. For all things will be revealed one day -the True intentions of people's hearts, what a dreadful and cheerful day. Yay!!! I can't wait. This day is known as the Great Day of Judgement... where Jesus, the true Judge of all things, will sit upon the White Thrown, and reward or throw away. He will burn everything that is dead and worthless. My friends, let us be Alive in Him and worthy! By His stripes and Blood we are Healed and Able to do Good. For He sees all things.

He provides Perfectly.
And sometimes I don't know what I will need, or what is coming up, so I go ahead and Say a prayer, and trust, that He does and will provide all my needs. For all things are from Him, so, I know that he owns my life. He gave me/us choice of whom to give it to, free will, and the greatest is to give it back to Him. I do. I say, "use me as you will" for His good. His Kingdom. I am in. Working for, for we are all working for something. I set my eyes and heart on His. Only.
And it is really satisfying. And all are invited and longed by Him to do this. He is fighting for us to obey Him and enter In. It is best for All!

An interesting tuesday today. by the way, i am counting down... two more weeks from today until school starts...

I am burning this wonderful rose smelling candle... yum