I remember the day I graduated...

I was sitting in the auditorium with hundreds of chairs in rows all around me. The big stage, empty. I was there early with my black cap and gown zipped up. I was wearing my favorite black heels with the strap over the ankle. I was glowing, at least felt like it. I don't think I really knew what it all meant, but I knew it was a special day. Gma had come into to town and we all got a hotel room close to the school that we all stayed in. I got up early, the first one, and left long before everyone else. I was responsible for getting there on time and making sure that I graduated that day.I was happy, excited, and loved it to be my day. It was early morning, the sun was very hot. All my colleagues and friends were there with their families and cameras. I am glad mine were there, too. I remember walking across the stage, seeing Blair, taking a breath and letting the air fly through my newly cut short hair. I smiled and walked confidently. A new me! -kinda.
I remember taking pictures with everyone afterward and seeing my friends.
I had plans to go to India for the summer, and i did.
Over and done now, a year later, I am still on my journey in Life, will be for a while...
I am surprisingly still in Dallas. I think it is best, though.

Class of 2008, DBU, Communications Print/Graphics BA.
I have a degree! and took many classes and am qualified now.
Keep going, though, learning never stops.

here we go...

Pain emerges from the dark
comes to find a place to park in my heart.
I let it out, it feels good.
i must let it move through
in must go out, i command it to.

no one knew, no one to tell it to
not even i am aware
how or why or who
i just let it happen
like it is suppose to.

let it be good,
let it be true
to find a place of woo hoo

Time flys.

and i'm not really having fun... ??
It has been one year today that I graduated from college.
and what have I done?
Gone through a whirlwind so it seems.
"What are your goals in life right now?" someone asked me recently. "uh... idk," i said. still stunned, i really don't know where I am going. On the outside, i could be labeled as a loser, but I know there is no such thing.
I know jewels are buried inside of me right now.
I see them as covered up by "life" -things in life I have going on.
Maybe I feel a bit stuck, well actually i finally feel like i am where i am supposed to be, which is a good thing, but now getting through to the next place is where i am at.
1) i don't know where that is
and 2) i barely even know what is going on here! mainly, i don't know what the next big move in my life is going to be. and maybe i don't need to know. which is fine. but i need to find how to be happy where i am again. to brush off habits i have picked up along the way, but find my confidence and ground again in who I am. It is like I have lost some of that part of me. and maybe to gain a different one back, idk.

It is like I am building a new building -or being remodeled. and it looks kinda ugly right now (to me).
but day by day
i walk away
knowing i am okay
or at least will be one day.
i haven't rhymed in a while.
no tunes to carry out
my heart hasn't sang in a while
it feels good when it does.

hang on, you'll get through, dear.
I smile because it feels good.
:)
but there are still tears